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4 Lessons From 40 Years of Marriage

Parenting Family | The Epoch Times

On July 12, 1979, I married Janke Alida Holtland in Kampen, the Netherlands. I was 24. We had known each other less than a year. But we were baby boomers. Our generation got married in our 20s. Staying married, however, became the baby boomer
'On July 12, 1979, I married Janke Alida Holtland in Kampen, the Netherlands. I was 24. We had known each other less than a year. But we were baby boomers. Our generation got married in our 20s. Staying married, however, became the baby boomer problem. All of my best friends married young, but then divorced. Janke and I have made it 40 years and we’re quite jubilant. Over those 40 years, I have learned a thing or two about how to keep a marriage intact and happy. Here are four of them: 1. Don’t Let the Sun Go Down on Your Anger This principle comes in handy, because—shockingly—a spouse will inevitably do things to irritate and anger you. It is critically important to deal with those irritations right away: before the sun goes down. If you don’t, these irritations will begin to fester. If a root bitterness gets a foothold, then talking things out becomes harder and harder. Deal with your relationship issues on a daily basis. 2. Discuss All Major Decisions With Each Other Early in our marriage, Janke’s sound advice saved me from a bad decision. I was tackling graduate school at Columbia University, but had a very unhappy first semester. However, I thought my fortunes had changed when I spoke to a prominent professor at a West Coast university who encouraged me to apply to his graduate program. “This is the answer to all my problems!” I thought. But when I excitedly told Janke about this prospect, she reacted coolly. If I applied to this graduate program, she noted, the second semester at Columbia would be a waste since I would spend the next three months waiting for news from the California school. Better to complete the second semester and then decide whether to continue graduate school at all, Janke advised. Her advice deflated me. But I knew she was right. As it turned out, my second semester at Columbia was great, we stayed in New York, and that was the start of my journalism career. A decade later, I faced another major decision with two job offers, either of which would take us in dramatically different career directions. Thirty years later, that decision had unexpected consequences, some good and others not. But we made the decision together. Happy couple. (Shutterstock) 3. Listen to Your Spouse I am particularly talking to husbands with this point. You need to spend time listening to your wife. She needs to talk. I typically react by trying to think up a solution to the problem in question. But that is generally the wrong response. My wife just needs to talk, and it isn’t just about problems. Janke has always loved to garden. She loves to talk about her flowers. I cannot say that I am gripped by the question of the right combination of compost and potting soil. But Janke is, and therefore, I try to listen. 4. Fight for Your Marriage. It’s Worth It. Two sets of close friends married about the same time as Janke and I did. Both divorced after 30 years of marriage. I’ve heard all the reasons why. But I know that the cost has been very high. The divorce divided family and friends. Both couples had grown children who took sides in the battle. Birthdays, family gatherings, and especially weddings of the children became the scenes of tension for the family and awkwardness for everyone else. I have three grown children—all married—and six grandchildren. If anything is worth fighting to save the marriage over, then it is to have a good relationship with them. John Elliott is a senior fellow at Intellectual Takeout. This article was originally published on Intellectual Takeout .'

Mother & Child Vol. II Raises over $15,000 to Support Separated Immigrant Families

Parenting Colossal

A heartfelt thanks to the 60+ contributing artists and hundreds of attendees all helped make Mother & Child Vol. II a huge success. The benefit gallery show, which we co-produced with Sugarlift , has raised over $15,000 and counting. 100% of
'All images © Paul Emile A heartfelt thanks to the 60+ contributing artists and hundreds of attendees all helped make Mother & Child Vol. II a huge success. The benefit gallery show, which we co-produced with Sugarlift , has raised over $15,000 and counting. 100% of proceeds will be split between three non-profits who provide direct aid and legal support to separated children and families at the U.S./Mexico Border. We are proud to help further the causes of Kids in Need of Defense , The Young Center , and The Florence Project , and couldn’t have done it without the generosity of the following artists: Aaron Li-Hill, Adam Lupton, Ali Cavanaugh, Alonsa Guevara, Amanda Scuglia, Amber Lia Kloppel, Anna Park, Annie Wildey, Antonia Barolini, Chiaozza, Chris Herrera, Collin van der Sluijs, Danica Lundy, David de la Mano, Dina Brodsky, Elicia Edijanto, Ericka Jeffries, Erik Hougen, Faith47, Grace Lang, Guno Park, Helen Robinson, Hillary McCarthy, Icy and Sot, Jacob Brooks, Jaime Molina, James Razko, Jen Gennari, Jess X. Snow, Jonny Sun, Joshua Henderson, Klone, Kristin Texeira, Lauren Matsumoto, London Kaye, Lujan Perez, Lydia Fu, Marcelo Daldoce, Mark Powell, Marshall Jones, Maude White, Melanie Vote, Michael Meadors, Michelle Doll, Nicolas V Sanchez, Pat Perry, Patty Horing, Pepe Salgado, Pixel Pancho, Ramiro Davaro-Comas, Rubin415, Seth Globepainter, Shamona Stokes, Shana Levenson, Sonni, Swoon Studio, Tatiana Ortiz-Rubio, Tiffany Bozic, Valerie Lueth, and Vicky Barranguet. Missed the opening but interested in shopping incredible art? All available works are framed, priced between $100 and $1,000, and ready to ship worldwide at motherandchild.shop . Help us reach our goal of $20,000! Mother & Child artist Nicolas V Sanchez (left) Mother & Child artist Joshua Henderson (left) Mother & Child artists Vicky Barranguet and 1/2 of duo Icy and Sot'

Toddler Suffers 2nd-Degree Burns on Her Feet at Daycare When Staff Leave Her in Scorching Playground

Parenting Family | The Epoch Times

Do you remember those sizzling-hot summer days at the beach when you were young and how running across the hot sand was unbearable as you made a sprint for the water or shade? Imagine how a 1-year-old toddler would feel with such delicate skin. In
'Do you remember those sizzling-hot summer days at the beach when you were young and how running across the hot sand was unbearable as you made a sprint for the water or shade? Imagine how a 1-year-old toddler would feel with such delicate skin. In the scorching 100-degree-Fahrenheit (38-degree-Celsius) heat of Texas, this young toddler recently had a similar experience, although it wasn’t at the beach but at a daycare center. Some parents depend on daycares and have no choice but to entrust their children with others while they earn a living out in the workforce somewhere. Daycare staff don’t always live up to that trust and neglectfully allow their charges to tread on dangerous ground—literally in this case. It is only when an incident or injury happens that staff and parents may get a wakeup call. Illustration – Shutterstock | SpeedKingz Tiffanie Cedillo learned that the hard way after she enrolled her 16-month-old daughter in the Wee Care for All daycare center in Brenham, Texas. One day, she received a call from the center informing her that her daughter’s feet had been injured and to come to pick her up. The mother had taken the liberty of recording the conversation between herself and the daycare employee. “She said she was sent out on the playground with no shoes on because earlier that day she had diarrhea and it went down to her shoes,” Cedillo said via KBTX . When she inquired how bad the burns on her feet were, the daycare worker replied, “Well it’s a little umm … it don’t look too good.” The staff member sent Cedillo a photo of her baby’s feet, which were covered in blistered skin. “I was heartbroken when I saw her foot because half of her foot was blistered,” said Cedillo. Her daughter was screaming in pain when the mother came to pick her up. The little girl was taken to the hospital, where she was diagnosed with having second-degree burns on her feet. Whitney LB Miller sat down with the child’s mother this afternoon. KBTX Media စာစုတင်ရာတွင် အသုံးပြုမှု  ၂၀၁၉၊ ဇွန် ၄၊ အင်္ဂါနေ့ “It was almost a hundred degrees yesterday,” said Cedillo. “It’s just common sense you don’t send kids out barefoot on the playground. My child was neglected, and I would like for people to know that.” The mother has since withdrawn her daughter from the daycare and brought her, playpen and all, to the office where she works. She also intends to take legal action against the culprits according to KBTX. The playground’s safety inspector, Tom Kalousek, said in an interview with Accuweather, “Younger children, especially under 5 years old, can suffer second-or third-degree burns in a matter of moments. “They take their shoes and socks off and use their hands and feet to get around and don’t realize the dangers.” A police investigation of the incident later ensued. © Google Maps'